All these seemingly small internal changes make some of my parts nervous. It’s not the change for good that bothers them, what bothers them is the question of ‘Is this change for good?”
It certainly seems to be. I suppose, if I tried hard, I could mess everything up and go back to what it was, but I don’t think anyone really wants that. By anyone, I mean my parts. I don’t know if my kids notice anything more than I talk a lot more quietly now and I’m reminding them of their chores and homework consistently. 😄
One of the big changes I’ve noticed this last week is that I can focus now, even when there are distractions. On Tuesday, I had to take my two middles to the dentist and also needed to finish my history reading for the week because my homework was due. In the past, the slightest conversation at the desk, the music on the radio, a commercial, the postman delivering the office mail, or another person sitting in the waiting room with me would make it impossible to relax and focus.
I can measure it by the appointment I took my two youngest to at the same office a month ago. At that appointment, I could not keep focused at all. I flitted between scrolling through my email and IG, and writing in my journal. I really had a hard time staying on just one thing. This has been a problem for me since childhood. It’s hell for someone who likes to read to have this level of ADD. I can barely make it through a few pages before I have to go off and do something else.
As I read last night, I got to the end of a section and realized I hadn’t been distracted. I questioned myself about it because it is so unusual. That was when I realized how focused I had been at the dentist’s office.
I noticed it today in Spanish, as well. In the past, I’ve had to set a timer when I sit down to work because I want to force myself to work through a certain amount of time. I had no such problem today. I did the work. I think I got up to get a drink at one point, but I wasn’t checking my phone every other minute to see how much more time I had to force myself to work. I don’t think I even looked at it at all.
Then, and this was nice for my son, I hope, I actually sat down and played a Kirby video game with him. I have no idea why people say that video games cause ADHD. I cannot stand to sit through more than maybe a few minutes of any video game, though I have for my kids’ sakes. Today, I didn’t even look at the time as we played through five levels. I have never made it that far. Even when I force myself to play more than two, I feel like I’m losing my mind by the end.
The difference using IFS has made is pretty huge. It still surprises me how far I’ve come in such a very short amount of time. I mean, still no suicidal thoughts. Still no need for certain things I used to have to do to keep from losing my mind. One or two things that might have been considered addictions are not the problem they were. And now I can sit for quite some time and enjoy a book. That’s some pretty good success.
Note: Last week I watched a video on YouTube that claimed to be teaching IFS. While he used some of the ideas, he left out so many important details that I thought it would be dangerous for anyone who was unfamiliar with the method to even try what the fellow had said. Please, do your research into this topic. I am not an expert. I am only conveying what is happening to me internally and externally as I work through IFS on my own. I use YouTube videos from IFS professionals. I read the books by Dick Schwartz, the creator, and other IFS professionals. I didn’t jump into this blind. As successful as I am, I still learn something new about the method all the time.
Here is a video from the IFS YouTube channel that gives a general explanation.