I’ve written several blogs over the past few weeks. None of them have made it to publication. And perhaps this one will not either.
I try, as much as possible, to not post when I am upset. Upset could definitely describe how I was last week. Twenty-four hours after telling us that we’d continue working to the end of term, we were notified that we would all be laid off at the end of the month. I was, as we all were, shocked and distressed. My boss said she will continue to try to get us to be able to keep our jobs, but after having a week to process I hope she does not. I cannot handle this back and forth. Those 48 hours were too much and another jerk in another direction might be too much.
The ups and downs have been pretty bad. We are all getting a little catty. To top it off it’s been raining and we cannot get outside.
There is an adjustment in our roles. I think that’s what I’ve started to notice the most. I don’t know how other families are doing with that or if they even notice it. When you live with others, each person plays a role. We all know what we are supposed to do, for the most part, and how we are supposed to act, again, for the most part.
Now, though, everyone’s roles are changing. For example, I often rule by proxy. That proxy is usually my middle son. He has taken on this role himself and I have allowed it 1) because he’s capable. 2) because it seems to help him.
Now, though, I am not at school or work all day. I am home. And what is he supposed to do now? This has been a difficult adjustment for both of us. I have let him continue as much as possible. But I am not actually sure if that is beneficial or if now that I am home, it might be better if I did a few of those small things he does.
Some of his ways are not mine. He is a brother and is harsher on his siblings than I am. (Never let anyone tell you it’s sweet that a sibling is raising the kids. It is not—especially if you’re one of those kids.) I think this is one of the problems between us.
But it is just one of the many adjustments we are forced to make for the foreseeable future.
There are some positives to all of this mess. I have gotten more serious about Finnish. I purchased an actual curriculum (almost impossible to find a good and reasonably priced one in the US). I also started working on a BuJo. I’ve started a few over the years, but I have always let it fall by the wayside a week or so into school. It’s just too busy. I am reading Dune to the kids. I haven’t really been able to read with them consistently for years.
We will adjust to our new normal. We always do. We are used to the punches life throws us and, after the initial adjustment, we go on. It’s not easy, but we take each next step. I hope, if my kids learn no other lesson I’ve tried to teach them, that they learn that one. Pause if you need to, but always take that next step.