“Regret is unprofessional.” M, Book of Bond, Chapter: Quantum of Solace

The subtitle of my blog (included due to a prompt from WordPress) is a quote from Soren Kierkegaard, a Christian Existentialist. Kierkegaard, of course, fascinates me because he was derided so thoroughly by the Fundies I knew. Aside from his belief in a higher being, I have found the few things I’ve read from him since leaving religion to be quite profound, but none more than his advice to those struggling to decide what to do.

It seems a foolish thing to our Christian positivity culture here in America. We are told “Just do it,” and then led to believe that doing “it” is what will bring us what we want. But that belief is actually the foolish thing and if we paused to think of all the times we’ve done something and regretted it, we would see it for the stupidity it is.

The quote resonates with me because this is my daily struggle. If I need to do something and I don’t, I regret it, but if I do it, I more than likely regret it If I don’t regret it and it gives me a brief lift in my feelings, that is immediately taken away by some larger problem that is insurmountable.

Example: The other day, I received notification from the charter school I needed to get my daughter into that she was accepted. I had accomplished something, finally. Within just a few hours my oldest son came to me to tell me he’d lost our turtle, sending son #3 into a sensible fit of depression. I had to maneuver that along with the needs of my other children who do not take their responsibilities toward humans and animals as seriously as son #3.

There is no reward for doing “it.” We may make the decision to do “it” and find that it was the wrong decision. There are a million different things going on when a person is struggling with this sort of thing.

Deciding to write publicly is something I regret. But not writing something publicly is something I also regret. There is a risk and if we are honest we will admit that it’s certainly not always worth it.

Our society is one of false promises. I’m getting to the point after years in religion and later in “positivity,” and just watching politics, that human beings like being lied to. We prefer the beauty of a lie, than the pain of the truth.

But for those of us who have either acknowledged reality, or are subconsciously aware of it, these decisions become almost painful. The work lies in realizing we will regret both doing “it” or not, and choosing which regret we will least regret.

14 thoughts on “Subtitles

  1. Greetings. I was intrigued by your blog name and came over to check you out. I just wanted to say something that strikeout to me in your post. ” We are told “Just do it,” and then led to believe that doing “it” is what will bring us what we want.” Though I don’t know what religion you walked away from I know for a fact that Christianity does not hold that as a belief. We are called to do the will of God and the Word encourages us to not to go by feelings. Also to test and pray about anything before we just do “it”. What your talking about is a worldly view but not those who follow God.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would have said the same thing when I was a Christian. Looking back, though, we are promised much. If we give, we will receive. If we obey, we will be blessed. None of these are a reality for 99% of the world’s population. All religions and most world-views offer promises no one can keep.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There’s never been a moment in my life where God has promised me something and I did not receive it. I guess when you are religious then yeah definitely don’t expect to receive any promises. I believe religion itself is the problem but not God.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I suppose it’s nice to be part of that 1%. I’ve seen too many children die, many of them slow and painful deaths, to believe any of that anymore.


      3. Numbers are not people. And every person has their own unique story as to why they do or they don’t believe. I would have been one of those children it weren’t for God. Don’t be so quick to judge what you don’t know. Nothing in this world as simple as human beings want to believe it is. I am however grateful everyday for the chance to choose. That I follow a God that still wants me to choose Him more than He wants overrule me. And you have chosen as well be happy with that but don’t be so quick to judge 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I’m not judging. You can believe whatever you want. I told you why I cannot believe in any god. When I see so much suffering, just because the occasional child lives doesn’t make the horrors that happen to the others dissipate. A god who cares about the free will of an abuser over the victim is not one worth worshiping to me.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What is the definition of judging? What God are you talking about? I don’t understand because the God I serve does nothing what you just said. Who said anything about living? There’s way more to my story than me just being alive. And who said they were free? See there so much in what you say that actually has an answer to it. But in order to find that out you would have to let go of what you think you know.


    1. LOL. I’m talking about all of them. Any god who can see that there is suffering and does nothing to alleviate. Everyone has their own god, even within the same religion. As I said, I cannot serve any god from anywhere who sees all this evil and does nothing and that is what all gods do. The Jewish god, the Christian god, the Catholic god, the Muslim god, the Norse gods, the Greek gods, the Germanic gods, the millions of gods that people have worshiped throughout the millennia and we have never heard of, all of them are content with the horrors of the human existence. That alone makes them worthless to me. Again, you are welcome to your belief. But you asked, so I answered.


      1. Did you know the God I serve says those who do evil my wrath remains with them? Did you know the God I serve says he hates those who harm the innocent and weak and He avenges them always? It’s easy as an American for us to judge because we live so physically free. But that is not really what freedom is it? And then there is that free will thing. If you were once Christian you will know what I’m talking about.You said my belief twice so I’ll address that. It’s not my belief it is the truth. I do appreciate your responses because they have been kind.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The god you serve can be whatever you want him to be. That’s the great things about gods. But claiming the god loves the innocent and somehow avenges them in some afterlife, does not end the suffering now. If you want to serve a god who is powerless to stop people from being raped, killed, enslaved, and abused, that’s your decision. You say your god avenges, but why not just stop it before it happens? If your god is capable of divine retribution, why not just step in before the person is damaged by the rapist or the abuser?


      3. Oh no I never said He avenges them in the after life at all. I said HE says His wrath remains with them. You know while they are alive. You see, your not answering my questions. Your assuming you already know the answer. I’m guessing you don’t know anything about what the Bible says about the will of men and God’s laws. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you may never have been Christian in the first place? And I did not create God. He tells you who He is. I have had to ask God that same question from my own experiences. How could I be chosen by You , but you let all this happen to me? He gave me an answer, but you are not willing to hear. That is why you do not know. I hope that changes for you one day.


      4. Oh I didn’t say He avenged them only in death. He says His wrath remains with them. You know when they are living. Your not answering my questions. Your assuming you already know the answer. So I’m not sure if you actually read the Bible. Because it talks about the very thing your talking about. Man’s will and God’s Law. How do you know that God has not tried to stop it? Are you in the mind and soul of every human being? I have had to ask God that same question from my own experiences. If I was chosen by You, why didn’t you stop them from hurting me? He gave me an answer but you are not willing to hear. I’m just saying, it’s okay to judge because it’s part of who we are. What’s not okay is the actions we do with that judgement when we don’t even know the truth or seek to find it first. I wish you well in your writing journey.


  3. I posted twice since it seemed to not have posted the first time but all in all I wish you the best in your writing journey!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s